


Pain

by Ookomix



Series: Star Wars One-Shots [8]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars VII: The Force Awakens
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M, Post TFA, feelings through the Force
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-06-05 09:28:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15167705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ookomix/pseuds/Ookomix
Summary: The first time Poe has felt pain through the bond he shares with Ben, they were just kids, and Poe has never been so worried in his life.





	Pain

**Author's Note:**

> Un-beta-ed work from a non-english writer  
> you've been warned

The first time Poe has felt _pain_ through the bond he shares with Ben, they were just kid, and Poe has never been so worried in his life. His friend was hurt.

Poe ran into the forest of Yavin IV, where he left Ben the last time they saw each other earlier this day, and he didn’t stop until he found him. And here he was, seated against the bark of a tree, huddling his arm against his chest in an attempt of stopping the blood from flowing through the fabric of his shirt. Poe quickly sat next to him.

“What happened?”

“I…” embarrassment colored Ben’s cheeks, and he tried to get rid of his tears in front of Poe. “I fell. I wanted to climb to the crown, and I fell…”

Though he was only six years old, Ben was brave, and not inclined to show any weakness to anyone. Fortunately Poe wasn’t everyone. So when he crept closer and gently ask to see Ben’s arm, the younger child simply cried a little more and showed him his injury. It was a clean cut, deep in the flesh, but it didn’t cause any damage to bones or nerves, so it wasn’t that bad. Poe smiled at Ben, just to reassure him, and it seemed to work as Ben nodded with a shaky breath, and stopped crying.

“Come on, let’s get home, and let’s patch you up. It’s just a scratch,” he laughed, “The first scar of your collection, wow!”

It made Ben laugh, and Poe could finally breath. The pain throbbing in his brain, this little part of his brain entirely dedicated to Ben, was slowly dimming as they made their way home.

 

 

Poe looks at the desolation under his x-wing. The Starkiller base is nothing but fire and crumbling earth, ready to explode in a few minutes. And that’s his doing. But at what cost? He ghosts a hand over his forehead, breathing slowly to make the _pain_ go away. It never does, not really. It has lingered here for as long as Poe can remember, along with fear and hate and raw violence. But this time it is something else, and Poe couldn’t pinpoint what until now.

Ben’s hurt.

He’s somewhere out there, on this wrecked planet, and he’s hurt. It’s been years since Poe had to repress the desire to _run_ to his soulmate. He always succeeded.

This time he dives towards the planet and follows the bond through the destruction. He ignores the calls of his squad, eventually he cuts the communication off, and lets them finish the job on their own. And then he sees him. All draped in black and blood, sprawled on the snow with a cut on his face. The pain is almost unbearable for Poe, this close to Ben, to _Kylo Ren_ , but he lands anyways, and makes a few steps towards the figure lying in the snow.

Up this close he can see the injuries Ben suffers from. A large hole in his side, multiples wound on his shoulder, his leg, that cut on his face. Without his mask there’s nothing to hide him from Poe, and the pilot locks his eyes in those brown and unfocused of his sworn enemy, and bonded lover.

Pain is roaring in his head. It has been since Ben left for the Dark Side. And he knows this feeling isn’t his.

Poe crouches near Kylo, and the knight flinches a little before falling very still.

“Here to gloat?” he asks in a raspy, broken voice. “Here to finish what the girl couldn’t?” He seems… resigned to die.

Poe simply shakes his head. “No.” No venom, no snark in his voice. He’s as tired as Kylo is. “I felt it. Through the bond. You killed him. Why? He loved you.” He tries to keep his voice steady, but he just wants to scream, to let go of all the feelings Kylo can’t bring himself to, the feelings that are eating them both.

“C-Can you understand? Through… through it, I mean… Can you f-feel what happened?” Kylo’s voice is dimmed by his shaking, and his eyes are more and more unfocused. He’s going to lose consciousness, but he keeps fighting it, his gaze desperately holding onto Poe’s eyes.

“Oh, Ben,” Poe sighs. “I felt _everything_. Followed your path into the Dark, hoped you would turn away and run from all this shit. But even though it was eating you alive, making you feel more and more miserable and _in pain_ , you kept going. You kept following this maniac, and you kept running away from me. From us. He lured you with sweet lies, and you fell for promises that would never happen. And now, you’re starting to realize it. Right? You never wanted to kill Han. That I know.” Led by pure instinct he brushes the dark locks from Ben’s face, and he doesn’t pull back even though Kylo is honestly snarling at him with all he has left. He can barely move. And for a moment Poe wonders if he’s going to die here, on this planet crumbling under their feet.

Kylo’s eyes sharpen for a brief moment before he goes back to his almost comatose state.

“They’re coming for me. You should leave.”

Poe is surprised. Why would Kylo warn him? They could easily kill the best pilot of the Resistance right now, and call it a day, right?

“Are you going to die?” Poe asks before he can stop himself.

Kylo shakes his head.

“It’s just a scratch. Another scar to add to the collection.” And the smile he gives to Poe…

Poe gets up and runs towards his ship as soon as he hears the low screech of the Upsilon closer to his position. When he lands off and joins his crew, apologizing for his behavior, the pain throbbing in his brain, this little part of his brain entirely dedicated to Ben, is dimming as they once again take Ben away from him.      

**Author's Note:**

> another fanfiction kept locked in my folder. Since I'm having a "no inspiration" week and my overdue works are screaming for attention, I'm posting everything I have here.


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